Pace your writing.
The graphics were excellent, the sound quality is in rather urgent need of improvement. My major qualm with this submission is that the plot is too fast paced, it goes from action sequence, to exposition, to action sequence, to exposition, with little or no character development in between. Simply put, you tried to fit what should be 20 minutes of plot development into a 5 minute film, and this creates a piece where information is forced on the viewer at way to fast a rate. Other than the PACE of the plot, the writing otherwise was great!